Dating With Herpes

1 in 5 people have herpes now. Are you one of them?

According to CNN, this is a true statement. The rate for men is a bit lower, but they’re not immune from getting a sexually transmitted disease. Over half, more than 50%, of all sexually active women AND men will contract HPV, the human papilloma virus sometime in their life. HPV causes warts on the hands, feet and genitals with some strains believed to cause cancer of the cervix, vagina and vulva.

There are 70 million people affected by an STD in the US alone. It’s estimated that worldwide that number is over 400 million. And yet it’s still such a hush-hush topic that it’s rarely, if ever, talked about openly. With the stigma these people feel, where can they go to find understanding and acceptance with no worries of being discriminated against or rejected?

And what are the options for someone with an STD who wants to date? It’s considered by so many to be such a taboo subject that many people are reluctant to be honest with a prospective partner. There have been sad stories repeatedly told about someone coming clean with their date and having that person disappear from their life.

As a result, many people choose to keep their secret shame to themselves. And it’s a feeling of shame that many shouldn’t have to bear. Thousands of people are infected with STDs through no fault of their own; someone else didn’t want to tell *their* secret shame. It can become a vicious cycle that no one wants to talk about, even though there are millions of people going through life, dealing with an STD.

After baring your soul a time or two and having your feelings stomped on by someone you thought cared, it’s little wonder that people suffering with an STD would rather not tell. Even if you decide to be honest, it can be tough to choose the right time to reveal such information. Do you tell them up front, early in the relationship or wait until feelings have developed and the relationship is turning serious? It’s understandable that some folks with an STD opt to just give up dating altogether.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you think you’re alone, or you’ll never have close friends or an intimate partner again, just go to Google and type in ‘std dating’ or ‘dating with herpes’ or ‘dating with aids’ or any other STD you can think of. You’ll get MILLIONS of results back, and a huge number of those results are dating sites, specifically created for people living with an STD.

A growing number of people in similar situations has created a new industry: Internet dating sites just for people with STDs. From MPWH.com to sites such as STDkiss.com and PositiveSingles.com Web sites abound for those "living with STDS"

If you talk to someone who’s a member of one of these sites, they’ll probably tell you that they experienced a bit of nervousness at first, especially if it was the first time they admitted it publicly. But most will be quick to tell you also that instead of feeling all alone, suddenly they found themselves with a support group of thousands. Many have gone on to find the love of their life, just by having the courage to take that first step and sign up for a free membership.

Many of these sites have members from all over the world who can attest to the fact that the stigma associated with an STD is the same in every country, and no one wants to talk about it openly. But safely ensconced within the membership site, people are treated the way they should be treated, with the focus on who they are as a person and not identifying them by their disease.

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